People That Are Different From Me Are Scary

I've been teaching The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros in my adult reading class (yes, your hard-working bloggers still have day jobs) and came across an interesting passage to debrief with the learners. The conversation that followed was insightful, to say the least, and got my little blogger wheels turning.

The passage we read from the book goes like this:

"Those who don't know any better come into our neighborhood scared. They think we're dangerous. They think we will attack them with shiny knives. They are stupid people who are lost and got here by mistake.

But we aren't afraid. We know the guy with the crooked eye is Davey the Baby's brother, and the tall one next to him in the straw brim, that's Rosa's Eddie V., and the big one that looks like a dumb grown man, he's Fat Boy, though he's not fat anymore nor a boy.
All brown all around, we are safe. But watch us drive into a neighborhood of another color and our knees go shakity-shake and our car windows get rolled up tight and our eyes look straight. Yeah. That is how it goes and goes." (Sandra Cisneros, The House on Mango Street pg 28)

We discussed. Do you understand and relate to this feeling?

A student: Honestly, no offense (uh-oh...), I'm the most scared when I see a white man on my street because white men are the most likely to be serial killers.

Another student: Is it saying that Mexicans in the neighborhood make it scary? That's kinda true though. (I nervously glance at the one Hispanic student in the room, he appears absorbed in a text message and has not heard)

3rd Student: It's more like, when you see someone unfamiliar on your street, then that makes you nervous. Because you can tell they don't belong.

Alright, we're getting somewhere now. So we live in groups often based on the way we look, perhaps as a safety net. Do we do this consciously because it makes it more obvious who doesn't belong? Is it subconscious? Just an added bonus? Do we believe the stereotypes we know about other races?

Me: Why do we fear people who look different than us? Is it natural? Is it ok?

Student: If you don't know other peoples customs, you might be scared of them.

Another Student: If you can tell by looking at someone that they come from somewhere else, they might believe different things. And people that look like you are more likely to believe similar things.

Student 3: It's like fearing the unknown.

Consensus: We fear people that look differently because we fear the unknown.

Me: Is it natural to feel this way?

From this I got a unanimous "yes". It is natural, there's nothing we can do about it, it might even be an instinct, they agree, heads shaking, mmm-hhmmms heard from all corners of the room. End of discussion.

I prod on.

Me: But is it ok?
pause.


A student: Yeah, it's ok, it's for your safety.

Another student: No, it's not ok, because you are judging people, but it's the way it is.

These adults don't see these patterns changing anytime soon. Some believe it's ok because you belong with your "group," as it gives you an identity and a community. Others who think it's wrong to segregate by race or to judge people before you know them still believe that it is too much ingrained in the way we think and do things to worry about it. I want to know why. Why do we feel more secure when we see people that look like us? Why have we let it get this far? Why can't I walk in a neighborhood of a different color without fearing what might happen to me or what people might say to me, or even think about me for that matter?

A group of us from work took a trip East of the River a week or so ago. As we were driving back, just past the Congress Heights metro station, one of my co-workers confessed, "I automatically just checked to see if all the doors were locked." It has become a habit to feel unsafe in unfamiliar surroundings, especially ones that are notorious for a minority demographic. That's not progress. When fear drives our actions, how can we do more than merely co-exist?

By perpetuating stereotypes and fear, we're holding ourselves back as a nation, as a society. If we want our community to be the best, we need to integrate ourselves and cast out our unfounded fears. Nelson Mandela said, "No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite."

--Megan


Sandra Cisneros' The House on Mango Street is a classic dealing with major themes such as racism, class system, immigrants, family and growing up. Appropriate for readers of all age levels. Check it out on our Amazon Widget to the right of this post!