A friend once told me she was listening to a radio show about being successful and having a meaningful life. According to the woman being interviewed, when she asked older generations of parents what they most wanted for their children they answered "to be good." These generations valued children that were contributing members of society, who were respectful and respected.
More recent generations of parents, however, answered this same question with the answer, "to be happy." Parents wanted their children to pursue their dreams and to enjoy the journey of life.
What this speaker surmised, however, was that the generations of children that were raised to be good were both good and happy. Their goodness and their value in society led to fulfillment and success and a deep sense of self. The children raised to be happy were often not good or happy. These children struggled with self-worth, rebelled against traditions, and lived much more selfishly; ultimately this selfish lifestyle did not lead to happiness.
I found this fascinating, and it reminded me a lot of what I had discovered in Why We Hate Us. Living for others and contributing to a community, having a sense of ubuntu, gives people purpose: this purpose leads to happiness.
When we ask to be good, we are asking for something bigger than ourselves. When we ask to be happy, we often step on others' toes in order to pursue our happiness. Living a good life leads to happiness; caring for and respecting others brings fulfillment; finding happiness is intrinsically tied to ethics and purpose.
--Megan
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